Here Without You
by Jamie's Spawn
Summary: Max reflects on her life, during and after Manticore. When she goes into heat again, who pays a visit to her humble home? Can she hold herself back?
1. Haunting

Here Without You

Disclaimer – I don't own them. Although I wish I owned that towel Alec was wearing when Max pulled him from his shower.

A/N: I've been thinking about doing a fic where Max goes into one of her famous cycles and the first guy she sees is Alec. And I don't want to give it all away, so I better stop now. My first attempt at a Dark Angel fic, so I hope all goes well.

~~~

Max is home alone, searching for anything to keep her mind busy. Anything to stop herself from thinking about the horrors Manticore had cooked up inside her.

She had tried to come to terms with it all, really she did. Or at least what she knows about as of now. She always finds herself wondering what else they had done to her all those years ago. 

The lab technicians back at Manticore weren't the sentimental type. At least that's not the front they put out when they were cutting her brother open before her very eyes. And they didn't even have the courtesy to kill him first.

No, instead they let him watch as they try to figure out where they went wrong.

__

'Poor Jack.'

Max can't help reliving the moment which took place years ago. That event which triggered thoughts of escape. That led to Eva being shot. That gave them the motivation to finally make a break for it back in '09.

She goes to the living room, spreading out on the floor, ready for another round of push ups. Trying to repress those thoughts that haunt her dreams at night. That's why she doesn't sleep much.

All the memories of her childhood come flooding back in her dreams. Memories of her training; of being tested to see her true abilities.

She tries to focus on doing her push ups.

Up. Down. Up. Down.

Then as she grew older, the memories grew worse. Right before they escaped, Eva was shot dead in her tracks when they made an attempt to save Jack's life.

The vision is still vivid in her mind. She remembers how dark the corridors were. Watching as Lydecker and his men came around the corner. 

He pulled a gun out, cocking it as he aimed for Eva. She remembers the sound of the gun exploding as the big chunk of lead with her sister's name on it flew through the air, just as fast as they all could run. She watched as the bullet made contact with the girl. Her still, lifeless body fell to the floor in a heap as Lydecker, their precious "father," looked on.

Up. Down. Up. Down.

The smell of blood mixing with the sterile stench of the floor reaches her nose once again. It was enough to make her sick.

Then there was that day in the woods. Lydecker made a deal with one of the Nomalies in which if he could make it past the perimeter fence, he was free to go. But if he didn't, Max and the rest of her unit could take him out in a heartbeat.

She can feel the blood pulsating through her veins in anticipation of being set out to do what she was meant to do. When Lydecker reached the end of his count down, giving the Nomalie a good head start, they she was off. 

She and the rest of her group followed him, smooth and efficiently, sending silent messages to one another as they hunted him down. They were fresh on his heels. He never had a chance. 

Up. Down.

They caught up to him. Beating him to death like savages. But they were still just kids. So young. So innocent. But not anymore.

She could smell the blood again, making her senses go wild. Maybe she really was a sheep in wolf's clothing. Just as her brother Ben had put it. Ben… Another of the horrifying memories that lurk into her mind every now and then.

Up. Down.

She remembers the talk she had with Ben in the Space Needle. He was so confused. 

Back at Manticore, he had an answer to all the mysteries. But out in the real world, there were so many things going unanswered. He was just looking for something to grasp onto. He went on hunting sprees. Killing people just for the pleasure of it. 

But he wasn't just killing anyone. No. He was giving them his barcode, as if trying to kill a part of himself. Then he would hunt them down, catching them in the end. He would rip their teeth out, dislocate their shoulders, and display them on a rock for the whole world to see.

She remembers the day in the woods when she talked to him last. It was anything but a good old family reunion. She didn't like seeing him hurt all those innocent people. He had to be stopped. He needed some sense knocked into him.

They fought. She broke his leg, just as Lydecker and his goonies were sweeping the forest. She had no choice. His last words were of the "Good Place." The one thing they had to look forward to when they were growing up in that hell hole. 

__

"Tell me about the Good Place."

"Where no one ever gets punished."

"And no one gets yelled at."

__

"And nobody disappears. And when you wake up in the morning, you can stay in bed as long as-"

That was it. He was willing to sacrifice himself in order for her to get out. There was no way she could carry him and expect them to make it away safely. She had to. She took her own brother's life in order to save her own. 

Sure, he knew it was the only way. He knew they were coming for him. He knew they would take him back there and put him down in the basement with the Nomalies. But it still hurt her, having to lay her brother to rest. Knowing she snapped his neck with her own two hands. He requested it, pleading for her to do it, and she followed through.

Up. Down.

Like she's said so many times before. She didn't need sleep. Besides, she can find other activities to fill the void usually fulfilled through sleep. But still her mind wanders.

Now it's harder for her to keep her mind from all that's gone wrong in her sorry, pitiful life. It's not like she can run to Logan anymore.

No. Not with the fear of infecting him again.

Stupid Manticore. Damn them. Damn them all to the deepest bowels of hell!

She clears her mind once again. It may only be temporary, but it's still worth the fifteen, or less, minutes of release. No matter how far she runs or how hard she tries, there is no way to erase what happened to her. To all of them.

She focuses her attention back to her push ups once again.

Up. Down. Up. Down.

She's sweating. That's weird. 

She can take out half an army, armed and loaded, without even breaking a sweat. There's only one thing this can mean.

She's in heat again.

Great.

Of all the things they did to her, this surpasses it all. Every few times a year she becomes this sex crazed beast. Every male she meets becomes irresistible. For God's sake, she actually had Normal, of all people, pinned against the wall, ready for him to become her prey. 

There was nothing she could do to stop this. Lord knows she's tried. It always gives way to a restless sleep. That is, if she's lucky. The majority of the time she goes on the prowl. It's not like she chooses to. She's not herself. 

That's how she hooked up with Rafer. She couldn't stand how dirty she felt. No matter how many showers she took, it couldn't cleanse away her guilty conscious. 

She ditched Logan on their anniversary to go have sex with someone she hardly knew. Okay, so it was only the anniversary of the first time they met, big deal. But it was still a big deal to him.

She can't take this anymore. Being alone was enough to drive her crazy. When Original Cindy is here, she has someone to talk to. And also someone to hold her back.

She can sense someone coming down the hall. There's keys in the door.

Thinking OC was home, Max goes to the couch and waits, ready to tell her to help restrain herself.

The door opens and Alec appears in the doorway. 

__

'Oh God, does he look adorable or what?'

Before things get out of hand, she stops her thoughts from going any farther. She didn't want Alec. Or did she?

He walks inside, noticing how affectionately she's looking at him.

"Are you all right?"

"I'm more than all right, baby."

"What, I don't even get a sarcastic comeback? No, _'What the hell are you doing here, Alec?!' _Something's up, I can feel it."

He eyes her up, slowly.

"Nothing is 'up.' It's just you and me. Alone." 

She looks him back, straight in the eye, as he walks to the center of the room.

__

'Screw the formalities. This whole thing with Logan isn't working, so what is a girl supposed to do? It's time I moved on. Found myself a *real* man.'

"I see that look in your eyes. It's like- it's like, uh…"

The words "You want me, right here, right now," are left hanging in the air.

She just looks at him. Her gaze growing deeper and deeper as she closes the gap between them.

"Max, are you sure-"

She lunges at him, pinning him to the floor. She showers his face with aggressive kisses. Normally Alec would be a little shaken up by this kind of behavior from her, but he goes along with it. Not without checking first, of course.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Just shut up and kiss me!"

She was finally getting what she has always desired.

~~~

A/N: You can imagine how the rest goes from there, hehehe. Leave me a review, pretty please? If I get a good response from this one, I'll be sure to do a longer one about Max and Alec later.


	2. Reflections

Here Without You – Chapter Two

Disclaimer – As much as I wished I owned them, I don't. Simple as that.

A/N: Thanks to all my reviewers! You guys are awesome! 

Angel-in-Training = You're welcome for the review! Your fic was awesome. And about Alec- I figured the thought of Max being in heat crossed Alec's mind briefly. But since I like my reviewers so much, I'm adding another chapter in Alec's POV. This was mainly meant to be a one-chapter dealio, but I don't mind doing another one.

M/a fan = I'm gonna try and do another longer M/A story, but I should probably wait until I get some of my other fics finished. I don't think it should be *too* long, but I'll be sure and write one. And you mentioned the same thing Angel-in-Training did- this chapter will be about Alec's POV, so you don't have to wait much longer.

Feenian = Thank you for the review! I'm really glad you liked it.

~~~

Alec is sitting at the usual table at Crash. Sketchy is caught up in a motocross race on the familiar television sitting nearby. Original Cindy is trying to hold a conversation with Alec but continues to get distracted by a woman at the pool table.

He keeps thinking about Max. Sure, they never really got along that well. There was always some sort of fighting between them. 

_'But that just adds to the excitement.'_

They still had their good days, nevertheless. When it came down to it, there was something between them. Something that could never be taken away. Not even by Manticore.

They clicked the first time they met. 

'_Whatever. Well, let's get this over with, huh?'_

'What are you doing?'

'We've been paired off. I'm your breeding partner.'

'My what?'

'We're supposed to copulate every night until you get pregnant.'

'That's sick!'

'It's your own fault. If you and your friends hadn't blown up the DNA database, they'd still be whipping up embryos and putting them into surrogates. Take off your clothes.'

'Get out of my cell.'

He still feels the tingle every now and then. The feeling he got when they first made physical contact. He didn't care if that contact was her foot kicking him against the cell door.

__

'What the hell was that?!'

'The only kind of physical contact you and I are gonna have.'

__

'You know, this isn't isn't exactly a plum assignment for me either. You spent half your life out there in filth and degradation. I could catch something.'

__

'Whatever you need to tell yourself. Just as long as we understand each other.'

__

'Fine. Don't "freak out" on me.'

In a way he was glad nothing happened that day. He wanted his first time with Max to be special. If she knew he was thinking this way she would have thought something went wrong in his head.

She always considers him as the type to get a call girl and rent a cheesy motel room for the night. She never expects him to be the romantic type. 

__

'Maybe I can use this to my advantage…'

He had only recently admitted his feelings for Max to himself. He didn't dare tell anyone else. He always feels attracted to her, and for the longest time he thought it was nothing more than an innocent crush.

Boy was he wrong.

She had changed him in so many ways. After Manticore burned to the ground he got himself a job at JamPony. 

Of course he didn't get it to become a hardworking citizen of Seattle. His sole purpose for the move was to get an inside peek of unsuspecting people's houses. He planned on returning to them later and taking what he pleased.

But Max taught him better than that. 

The night he caught her stealing that baseball was what sparked things in the first place.

__

'Alec, what the hell are you doing here?'

'Stealing a baseball. How 'bout you?'

__

'Trying to get back the money I lost because of you.'

'Yeah, me too. Figured I'd swipe this ball, repay my friend Max...'

'Yeah, right.'

'I'm serious.'

'You wanna pay me back? Get a job. Find out what it's like to live in the real world.'

'I'm sorry, is this what you call your real-world job?'

'This is an extreme situation, which--in case you didn't hear me two seconds ago--is entirely your fault.'

'That's why I want to make things right. I mean, if you hadn't paid that doctor, I'd have been a dead man.'

'Don't remind me.'

'I owe you, Max. Why don't you go on home? I'll finish this up. I'll fence this thing and get you the money tomorrow, huh? What do you say?'

'A, I don't believe you, and B, Sammy Sosa's 756th home-run ball is worth way more than what you owe me.'

He had his own agenda at the time, but he really did mean to pay her back. It wasn't like he actually thought she would believe him. After all, he gave her every reason not to.

He felt awful at the fact that he ruined her only chance to be rid of the retrovirus Manticore instilled in her. He ruined the only chance she had of being able to touch Logan. 

He knew she longed for it. He could see it in her eyes back at Manticore. He wished there were some way he could take her mind off all her problems.

"Are you aiight, boo? 'Cause I get the feeling you're not really here." 

OC's spoken concerns caused him to start. He had zoned out.

"Yeah. I just…"

"Something's botherin' you. Come on homeboy, you can tell Original Cindy. What's on your mind?"

He puts on one of his famous smirks, hoping to turn this conversation around.

"It's nothin' really. I'm just trying to find a way out of tomorrow's double shifts. What kind of bug does Normal have up his ass now?"

"I hear ya. Normal better get his act together before Original Cindy has to lay the smack down on his sorry ass."

Alec relieves some of the tension in his muscles. His smooth talking got him out of another tight spot.

"I can't believe he didn't see beforehand that his new girl wasn't the type to stick around for long."

"Typical Normal. Can't spot a player when she's right there flaunting her goods in front of him."

As OC goes back to her glass of alcohol, Alec begins to return to his previous train of thought.

He begins to wonder if maybe, just maybe, Max is feeling the same way he is. 

After Logan caught the two of them in an embrace, he got the wrong idea. But did Max set him straight on what was what?

No.

Instead she went along with it. She told Logan, whom in the past she thought would turn out to be the man of her dreams, that her and Alec, her tag-along transgenic sidekick from Manticore, were a couple.

His thoughts reel.

__

'Was there more to that than she was really letting on? Could she possibly be considering taking our friendship to all that she told Logan it was, or more?'

He can't take this anymore. He needs to clear his head.

"I think I'm gonna head home."

He stands, grabbing his coat from the back of his chair.

As he walks down the darkened streets of post pulse Seattle, passing by all the filth and degradation that hovers throughout the once powerful country, there is only one thing on his mind.

Max.

As hard as he tries to shake it off, he can't. 

Her eyes are mesmerizing. 

Her face is enough to make him quiver and stutter before her.

Her attitude makes her an even bigger turn on.

She doesn't take shit from anyone. If she has something to say, she says it. If someone pisses her off, they're in for a world of hurt.

Everything about her makes him want her even more.

Before he comes back to his senses, he finds that he wandered all the way to her apartment.

He tries the door but it's locked.

__

'Good thing I snatched myself a spare key.'

He digs through his pockets, searching for the only thing holding him back from her.

An enticing smell reaches his nose.

__

'No. It couldn't be…'

After fumbling with the lock, he swings the door wide.

Max is standing there.

Alert.

Sweating.

__

'Maybe she is…'

She looks him up and down, staring at him longingly.

__

'Quick, say something!'

"Are you all right?"

__

'That's all you can think of??'

"I'm more than all right, baby."

He is taken aback by her reaction. This isn't like Max.

"What, I don't even get a sarcastic comeback? No, _'What the hell are you doing here, Alec?!' _Something's up. I can feel it."

He looks her up and down, not quite sure if his speculations about her were right. 

__

'She's showing all the signs of being…'

She tilts her head a little, making him get this irresistible urge. 

"Nothing is 'up.' It's just you and me. Alone."

He fumbles for words, trying to hide his thoughts.

"I see that look in your eyes. It's like- it's like, uh…"

He leaves the words, "You want me, right here, right now," hanging in the air.

She continues to look deeper and deeper into his eyes.

There's that gaze again. He fights every muscle in his body, trying to resist the urge to run forward and grab her up in his arms.

She walks closer.

Closer.

There's that smell again.

It finally clicks in his head. He realizes what the smell means, and what is causing her behavior.

__

'I was right. She's in heat.'

"Max, are you sure-"

She lunges at him, pinning him to the floor. She showers his face with aggressive kisses. 

Normally Alec would be a little shaken up by this kind of behavior from her, but he goes along with it. 

He wants to be sure she's not making a mistake first.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Just shut up and kiss me!"

He could feel it now. He could feel how she felt about him. There really was something more to her pretending to be Alec's girlfriend.

Things were finally heading in the right direction.

~~~

A/N: I hope I kinda answered your questions. Leave a review, tell me what you think. I hope to start another M/A fic as soon as I can. Until next time, peace!


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